The origin of the feeling probably came from hearing from so many of my old friends during my birthday yesterday.
This morning, as I reviewed Jeremiah 33:3 (“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”), the Wayback Machine hurtled me to the mid-70s, college, and the first days when light began to penetrate the darkness that dominated my brain.
What I remember most, emotionally, about those days was how lonely and frightened I was. Frightened and anxious about everything. The young people I started following around believed this verse with all their hearts. They actually prayed, expecting God to answer their requests. They claimed promises. They obeyed commands. They built community around love, acceptance, forgiveness, accountability, and mutual caring.
Bolstered by their example, I too began to believe.
And it was in those days I began to hear God for myself.
And, for the first time, I began to feel hope.